Magic and Martial Arts for Monsters of the Sea

Welcome sea-safety students, water welfare warriors and aqua aegis aspirants alike!

I’ll inform you quite bluntly, my goal with your prosperous tutelage on magic and martial arts for monsters of the sea is not to educate or indoctrinate you, it’s to frighten you. To be more diplomatic it’s to raise awareness. When enviable images of fun loving thrill-seekers jumping into water somewhere with fantastically applied refinement appears in your life, perhaps through social media, adverts or elsewhere, with the rhetoric along the lines of carpe diem - risk assessments aren't the first processes of thoughts the vast majority of us reach. With promise, you maritime marshal mentees will find a contrasting outcome.

Holiday-goers make the very appealing case

of literally jumping off a bridge.

My biggest challenge for your fruitful andragogy is that the learning of events and facts of monster disposition such as accidents and tragedies is such daily normality that hard-hitting truths about these situations are rendered into pedestrian prosaic. Not to mention the varying studies declaring that human attention span is increasingly and increasingly becoming shorter and shorter which makes it harder and harder to think that James Bay's new album is a bit weird - I think I prefer his acoustic things.

Anyway, with stats from the World Health Organization, I’ll try;

In the UK: More than one person drowns every day. Around the world: More than one thousand people drown every day. Today is a day. One thousand people will drown today. It might be someone you know. It might be you. Regardless, more than one thousand people will drown today. Hopefully this is a transitional start from prosaic pedestrian to aqua-aegis aficionado.

Sensei Vivienne and her grasshopper, Oliver, discuss, brainstorm and

tackle all things water-safety related.

It’s unfortunate to consider that water safety isn’t often considered a paramount life skill that you might initially believe it to be due to the harrowing result any story, song or stanza that includes it as a topic will have. Although, the importance of life skills, themselves, are all individually very subjective to opinion but anyone who has tried to decipher their taxes for the first time will probably feel like they are drowning. The same can be said for understanding a phone bill or learning/contesting the law or learning how to drive...and then possibly learning/contesting the law again. Most heart attacks occur in the early morning, in someone's own home. If you ever have to deal with someone having a heart attack it’ll probably be someone you live with, someone close to you. That’s probably information you should know. That’s probably a situation you should be able to deal with. One thousand people will drown today.

A list of important life skills with the possible

monster omission of water-safety knowledge.

What I’m doing isn’t pioneer-manship of any real impressive magnitude. Life skills are often a controversial subject of contrasting divide and the necessity to prepare oneself with water safety skill and understanding falls within this declaration. However, do not tremble timid tutee! There are many thalassic-teaching trailblazers ushering the aqua aegis of water safety self-defence. Take a knee….The first drowning prevention strategy in the UK was created by the National Water Safety Forum which aims to reduce drowning fatalities by 50% in the UK by 2026. Some of their strategies include promoting that every child should have the opportunity to swim at primary school level and to increase awareness of everyday risks around the water. Swim England’s Swim Safe is an initiative that gives people the opportunity to test and improve their swimming ability in different aquatic environments - offering public and school sessions in 20 locations across the UK. And to bring it home; Swimming Masters, a small swimming school in Scotland, has introduced mandatory water safety based certification within their curriculum for their students.

Sacred safety text - be sure to take notes, students.

With the Safety Seahorse certificate, our students are given the opportunity to participate in exercises that could reflect real life safety dangers, such as finding yourself in deep waters with your clothes on and no goggles. However, a large variety of the education given is knowledge on how to prevent such dangers occurring. Now, if you look carefully you will observe on the back of our certificate, shown above, we have given a few water safety tips to remember. Were you taking notes? More than one of directed at the adult of the child. A child’s water-safety knowledge and skill begins and sometimes tragically ends with their parent and/or guardian’s comprehension and knowledge of possible dangers.

There will always be risks when anyone enters waters even if a trained professional, such as a lifeguard, is providing supervision. Is a child safe if you leave them with armbands on while you sit on poolside? What if they are competent swimmers? Everyone else is jumping in so it’ll probably be fine, right? At least James Bay is trying new things and being creative, am I overreacting? Human subjective is the diplomatic answer... but people drown in bathtubs every day. The International Life Saving Federation concluded that around one quarter of recorded drownings were competent swimmers and around 50% of recorded drownings were children. Monster of the sea or pedestrian prosaic?

But alas, eager students, as we draw a close to our class I will leave you with one lasting thought;

To assess the perpetuating possibilities of dangerous situations, when others aren't, is as close to Marvel and DC we can come to developing superpowers and holding back a my subjectively human opinion.

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